We want your family to thrive!

New Series: “Can You Hear Me?”

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 13:38:43 -0500

Series Overview (3 weeks)

Doesn’t it seem like there should be more to prayer than just our typical “Help me, bless me, protect me, give to me” prayers? Prayer has to be more than just talking to God—because He knows our thoughts, right? It has to be more than just us making our requests known to God—because doesn’t He already know everything that’s going on in our lives? It’s like there’s some secret, some mystery we hope to unlock so we can “get through” to God. If we could just say the right words, maybe we can break the code and get a “yes” to all our requests. But what if prayer was something much bigger than that? What if prayer went beyond us getting what we wanted, and became about how to grow closer to God’s heart instead? What if prayer wasn’t just about changing our present situation, what if it was about changing us?

Session One (March 4)
Have you ever noticed how relationships seem to drift apart when we don’t get to spend time together? There’s just something significant that happens when we intentionally carve out time to connect with a friend or a family member. We get to hear what’s on their minds and hearts. We get to see the person beyond just what he or she can do for us, and see who he or she really is. That’s the heart of prayer—it’s our chance to connect with God in a way that goes beyond “Help me, bless me, protect, give to me.”
Session One Parent Cue:
Do you have time every day or every week when you intentionally carve out time to spend with God?
How do you guard that time?
What are some challenges in keeping that time?

Session Two (March 11)
If we spend time with God intentionally, if we make time for Him, then what do we say to Him when we get alone with Him? What are the things we talk about? After all, He knows everything about us, our lives and our world. It’s not like we have any “news.” It’s not like we have to give Him an update on how things are going. So what do we talk about? In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus focuses on three things, and leads us through a process that will not only change our perspective about what is going on around us, but also our perception of God.
Session Two Parent Cue:
How does spending time with God put things going on in my life into perspective?
How can we do a better job of honoring this time and making it a priority?

Session Three (March 18)
We can’t talk about prayer without addressing the obvious question—what happens when God doesn’t answer? Jesus has a surprising response to that—you keep asking. Because if something is that important to you, if something has captured your heart that strongly, then it’s something that you can’t let go. It’s something you can’t simply walk away from. So keep asking. And Jesus says that maybe, just maybe, God will honor your persistence.
Session Three Parent Cue:
Is there anything on my heart, anything that I feel so strongly about, that I would keep asking God about . . . even if He doesn’t answer for a long time?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

New Series: “The Great Banquet”

Fri, 24 Feb 2012 21:27:15 -0500

Series Overview (1 week)

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning
Stories are powerful. They can change our point of view, convince us of the importance of a message and inspire us to change our lives, simply by sharing a piece of someone’s journey. When Jesus told stories, there was always a point that needed to be heard. And, often, the point wasn’t something that would naturally be the most well-received and welcomed. But Jesus kept on telling them, because He had an important message to relay. And that was the message of the kingdom of God. Jesus knows that the things in our life can sometimes take the place of the most important thing—our invitation to participate in the great story of God’s kingdom.

2. Be a Student of Your Student
We are busy. It seems to be a growing cultural phenomenon. The word “stress” is often on the lips of our friends, co-workers and neighbors. And for those of us who are the parents of teenagers, it’s also a word we often hear from our own kids. Students, especially junior high and high school students, are overbooked, overworked and overdrawn on their energy reserves.
As Chap Clark writes in Hurt 2.0:

Certainly they are tired, and many are angry. Both of these, however, are but symptoms of a deeper threat to their well-being and ultimately to their ability to progress through midadolescence. (Midadolescence is the in-between stage that young people go through where they are no longer children but are not quite ready to launch into adulthood. The age range of midadolescence can be between 14 to 20 years of age. Midadolescents are characterized by egocentric abstraction, which is the idea that they filter most of life through the lens of how what they experience, see and do effects them, first and foremost) At the core, they long for the safety and freedom of childhood and have no clear vision concerning what adulthood will be like. As a result of the abandonment they have faced throughout their lives, most midadolescents carry inside them a powerful defense mechanism that keeps them running as fast and as hard as they can. They know no other way to cope with life. The quicker they move, the less vulnerable they are to ridicule, critique, or even examination. Midadolescents know they must put on a mask of confidence, even arrogance, or they will be chewed up by those who would find them out. May we, the adults who love and care for them, not be fooled. They are busy, yes, and stressed, but they want someone to demonstrate in word and action, ‘You matter to me’ (140).

So what does that mean for those of us who are invested in the lives of teens? Does it mean we clear their schedules and make every night mandatory family night? You could try it, but it probably won’t go over well. What it might mean though is that we help our students weed through what is important and what is just mental and physical chatter in their lives. Help them navigate the world of schedules, agendas and itineraries now to set them up for being successful boundary-setters later.

3. Action Point
We all have deadlines, activities, to-do lists and responsibilities vying for our attention and pressing in on us from all sides. Whether it’s the deadline for the project our boss gave us last minute or the deadline of an AP History test that keeps creeping closer and closer, deadlines loom over our ever-busy lives and we feel the weight of their presence.

So, what are the things competing for your attention right now?

Take some time to talk with your child about your own deadlines and to ask them about theirs. Help them understand the process of how you prioritize your time so that they can begin to understand the need to prioritize theirs as well. And this doesn’t just mean fitting their ever-bulging schedule into a well-planned out and over-burdened week. This means helping your student (and yourself) evaluate what is most important and what may need to be scaled back. As you talk, help your son or daughter visualize the idea of prioritizing by writing out a calendar with them and blocking out sections of time for things like rest, play, family time, friend time, etc. And if as you talk, you realize that you may need to do some re-prioritizing too, it might be a good chance for you to write out a new calendar of your own with some input from your teenager. Ask your children how they think you are doing with prioritizing your time. Where do they think you might need to cut back?

© 2011 Orange. All rights reserved.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

New Series: “Lost in Translation”

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 16:13:29 -0500

Series Overview (3 weeks)

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning
We’ve all used words while being a little uncertain of the actual meaning. But when it comes to words like “belief,” “righteousness” and “salvation,” our understanding makes a huge difference in how we live our Christian faith and how we view God. So, we’re going to take a look at these commonly used words and figure out not only what they mean today but what they meant to the writers of the Bible thousands of years ago. And, in doing so, our aim is to let these new definitions teach us more about all God has for us and wants for us. In other words, over three weeks we are going to take what may have been lost in translation and recapture and rethink it in a way that could transform us in ways we never imagined.

2. Be a Student of Your Student
In the summer of 2008, Notre Dame sociologist Christian Smith conducted a study which interviewed 230 young adults from across America. Columnist David Brooks summarized those findings in a recent article in the New York Times (“If It Feels Right …” September 12th, 2011). Smith’s findings revealed that young people don’t have the vocabulary to talk about issues of morality. In other words, when it comes to talking about morality and the meaning of life, young people generally find themselves at a loss for words to describe what they know and how they feel. As Brooks writes in his article, “The interviewers asked open-ended questions about right and wrong, moral dilemmas and the meaning of life. In the rambling answers, which Smith and company recount in a new book, ‘Lost in Transition,’ you see the young people groping to say anything sensible on these matters. But they just don’t have the categories or vocabulary to do so … It’s not so much that these young Americans are living lives of sin and debauchery, at least no more than you’d expect from 18- to 23-year-olds. What’s disheartening is how bad they are at thinking and talking about moral issues.”

For those of us who are invested in the lives of young people, this information can be a bit unsettling. But, we can also see it as a challenge to help our students by teaching them what the Bible says about who they are and what their lives are purposed for—by giving them the vocabulary to talk about these issues with clarity and thoughtfulness. As Brooks says, “Again, this doesn’t mean that America’s young people are immoral. Far from it. But, Smith and company emphasize, they have not been given the resources—by schools, institutions and families—to cultivate their moral intuitions, to think more broadly about moral obligations, to check behaviors that may be degrading. In this way, the study says more about adult America than youthful America.” And this is where we as parents pick up the challenge to help our students develop a vocabulary for the story of their faith journey.

While many students may not be able at this point to truly deal with the abstract ideas of “belief,” “righteousness” and “salvation,” there will come a time when they will be able to wrestle with these concepts and really understand their meaning in a way that will make an impact on their understanding of the Christian faith and their lives. So, as you talk to your teen about what they are learning, keep in mind that we are sowing the seeds of a greater understanding of both their faith and who they are created to be.

3. Action Point
Stories are one of the greatest teaching tools we have to reach our students. One of the most powerful ways for us, as parents, to teach our students the power of faith is for us to share our own faith story with them. For some of us, our faith story is filled with lots of drama. For some, our story is one we haven’t really spent that much time considering before. For others, our faith story began when we were very young and has been a consistent narrative throughout our lives. Whatever your story, it is important that you share it with your student. Let them peek into your own journey and find some common ground. This may not come naturally or easily, but as you stumble through it together, keep in mind that your vulnerability is one of the most effective tools in furthering your child’s personal spiritual journey. Here are some tips to get you started:

• Be sure to do this on your student’s timetable so that they are the most willing to listen and take in what your story has to offer.
• Pick your teen up from school for lunch or coffee and make a special date out of telling your story. Your student will enjoy the special attention and the break from their normal routine.
• Find a time when both you and your spouse can share your story in a relaxed environment, such as around the dinner table.
• Above all, remember that no one has more potential to influence your child’s relationship with God than you do. Being intentional with your student and making time to talk is a valuable resource in building relational trust and walking with your student through their faith journey.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

GCYM Partnering with Parents Breakfast

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:45:09 -0500

Sunday morning, December 11
Beginning at 8:45 AM
Youth Room
Coffee, juice, fruit, & donuts will be available.
Feel free to bring breakfast food/drink to share.

We know how passionate you are about your sons & daughters having faith that thrives, and we want to constantly improve how we are partnering with you to make that a reality!

Help us make sure we provide enough food for this partnership opportunity by sending an email or text to Rocky (rocky.gcym@mac.com; 678.983.2316) to confirm how many from your family will be there.

Anyone who confirms by the Friday before (December 9) will be entered for a drawing that morning to win one of several prizes, including discounts to upcoming GCYM activities.

New Series: “Unwrapping Christmas”

Wed, 7 Dec 2011 16:33:01 -0500

Series Overview (2 weeks)

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning
Christmas is that feel-good time of year when the lights are up, the holiday music is flowing and the cheer is palpable in the air. It’s also the time of year when we go through the same Christmas routine as always and pass another holiday season without necessarily thinking through how the story of Christmas is meant to change us, not just be a backdrop to two weeks off from school. So, this Christmas we’re going to take a fresh look at the Christmas story with some insights to help us understand how revolutionary Jesus’ arrival on Earth really was. When we think of the Christmas story this year, let’s be reminded that Jesus is more than we need during the holiday season, and for the rest of the year too.

2. Be a Student of Your Student
What was it that used to make the holidays special when you were a kid?
Was it...
• the chill in the air signaling that Christmas break was right around the corner?
• baking and decorating ginger bread cookies with a sibling or your mom or dad?
• that feeling you got on Christmas Eve as you waited for the morning when you could finally tear into those beautifully wrapped packages underneath your tree?

Whatever may have made the holidays a special time for you, there is one thing that tends to define the Christmas season for most of us: family. When we are young, our families define what Christmas looks like from the traditions they keep to the way they express the story of Jesus to those around them. For those of us who are now raising families of our own, we are now defining Christmas for our families. It can feel a bit overwhelming establishing the values, traditions and attitudes that revolve around this idea of Jesus’ arrival on this Earth.

While most students may be able to tell us the “real” meaning of the season, they aren’t necessarily connecting it to the value of the Christmas story. Developmentally, our students are in a place where it is difficult to think outside of their own world and their own lives. They may have head knowledge of the Christmas story, but in order to take that and bring it down to heart level, there has to be an experience that they can call their own. This is especially important for those of us with middle school and younger high school students who are still in the developmental stage of egocentric abstraction. During this stage, your student is the center of his or her own world and is not easily able to identify with ideas and concepts that are not personally connected to their own feelings. However, when they have the chance to experience the joy of reaching out to others in the midst of other’s true needs, they can personally identify with the value of the Christmas story.

For those of us with older high school students, now is the time when they are beginning to widen their worldview and understand the world outside as more than the sum of their own feelings and experiences. For them, the experience of reaching out to others is a chance to put legs to the social and global concerns that are already stirring in their hearts. Once the meaning of the Christmas story is tangible through personal experience, it isn’t easily forgotten in the mind of your teen. Another thing to remember is that though developmentally your students are in a place where they may not fully “get” the meaning of the Christmas story, we as the adults in their lives are. It is necessary for us to set the example and show them the importance of the Christmas story. So, we may need to take some time on our own to reflect on the value of Jesus’ arrival on Earth before we can begin to define that for our students.

3. Action Point
This Action Point is where we, as parents, can start to define what Christmas is truly about through the traditions we establish and the way we express the Christmas story—in our homes, in our schools, in our churches, in our neighborhoods and to the world at large. This is not just an exercise for the Christmas season, but rather a great time to start refocusing our family’s attention on putting Christ back into His rightful place. So, this Christmas as you and your family settle into the usual gate of the holiday season, take a moment to pray, reflect and search your heart for how you want to represent the Christmas story to your family. And then, do something together as a family that will allow those values to be expressed in a way that will forever shape the way they “do” Christmas.

Here are some ideas for ways you and your family can connect to and define the Christmas story together:

• Adopt a child or family from Grace Chapel’s Giving Tree. Select a name on one of the ornaments hanging on the tree in the lobby at Grace Chapel. Children are from our Meals by Grace program. Please spend between $75-$100 per child. All gifts are needed back by December 18th.
• Help Meals by Grace cook a Christmas dinner and deliver the gifts on Christmas eve, please contact Cory Jones at 678-455-6130. Details are by the tree in the foyer.
• Buy gifts for children whose parents are in the Forsyth county jail through Grace Chapel’s Jail Ministry. Names and details are on a table in the lobby near the tree, and remem
• Bring your family to go caroling to widows. On Wednesday, December 21, we will meet at Grace Chapel to form groups that will visit their homes to sing some of those Christmas favorites.
• Give gifts to the ones you love that honor them and benefit others at the same time: check out organizations like charity: water and Kiva to buy gifts and gift cards for family and friends who literally don’t need anything else!
• Volunteer at a local homeless shelter or 7 Bridges to serve a meal on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.
• Find a family from church, neighborhood, or wherever that could use some extra help this holiday season. Invite them over for Christmas dinner or offer to buy and decorate a Christmas tree for them.

This Christmas, as you celebrate the gift of Jesus and the story of God’s redemption in all of our lives, take the time to put that message into motion. Christmas is not just about giving things away so that we get that warm fuzzy feeling, or because we want to “share the wealth.” It’s about expressing God’s heart for justice, love and reconciliation.

As well, here is an encouraging blog post entitled “10 Reasons to Escape Excessive Consumerism” by Joshua Becker. Check it out at: http://www.becomingminimalist.com/2011/08/03/escaping-excessive-consumerism/

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Collision Stories

Tue, 6 Dec 2011 08:35:21 -0500

Making It Personal
Allow your teen to see how you strive to grow so they can understand how to confront their own limitations and pursue character and faith.

By Tim Walker

I’m not the most coordinated person in the world. I can trip over my own two feet just as easily as I can trip over an object in my path. There’s a good reason for it. I have “athletically challenged syndrome.” It’s a real disease. Okay, maybe not yet. But if we can get enough people to petition without injuring themselves with pencils, paper cuts, etc., we’ll get organized.

So, needless to say, I know a thing or two about collision.

I’m the guy who stood in right field, praying the ball wouldn’t collide with my head.

I’m the guy who jumped off the bus at a band competition, thinking I could re-enact the 1980s “Oh What a Feeling”/Toyota commercial jump only to come crashing on the pavement, bloodying my knee and tearing my pants.

I’m the guy who had a head-on collision with my brother on a motorcycle trail. We both swerved. I just swerved the wrong direction.

It’s a gift, I know.

And while I’m not so great at moving around (my wife has a strict “please don’t do that” regarding my dancing), I am very grateful for some of the collisions I’ve had in my life.

Like the person who hit the bumper of my car when I was a newly licensed driver. Someone at a traffic light thought the light had changed and hit the gas, giving my car a bump. That moment taught me to allow space at the stoplight and to make sure I knew what was going on around me.

But I’ve also had some collisions in my life that have had a great impact on me personally as well.

Like my Sunday school teacher in high school, Phil Harley. He impacted my life in a huge way. He made a misfit, uncoordinated kid feel like he was a wanted part of the world. It’s why I looked forward to church and loved being around Phil and his family.

Or the time when I began to see the themes in my Lit class play out in the Bible, and when I began to see that all of life was a mere reflection of the story that unfolds in the Bible.

Or the time when I was driving on the Interstate, pouring my broken heart out to God and He brought both comfort and joy.

Or the time I met someone from another denomination who really loved God and I realized that my particular church didn’t have a monopoly on Him.

There are many other collision stories, moments when God’s truth collided with me, God’s people crashed into me, God Himself showed up in my life in ways that I never saw coming—much like a baseball soaring in the air or the tree that suddenly jumped into my path.

What about you?

What are the moments when God crashed into you?

What about the moments when His truth showed up somewhere you didn’t expect and He showed you something about who He is? Was it in the face of one of your children, your spouse or a total stranger? Was it in a sunset or in a book or a movie?

Take some time today to think about the ways God has collided with you, and you with Him. And how not only you collided, but you were changed.
 Then do one more thing for me . . . tell your teen. Let your son or daughter hear about the collision from your own lips, let him or her into your story and get a glimpse of your collision stories.

And when he or she hears your stories about a God who collides with us, changes us, maybe they’ll be intentional about colliding with God as well.

© 2010 Orange. All rights reserved.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

New Series: “Collide”

Mon, 7 Nov 2011 14:25:20 -0500

Series Overview (3 weeks)
Ask anyone who’s ever run into a sliding glass door that was closed, or went for the same baseball as a teammate, or experienced a fender bender at a stoplight—a collision changes things. Whether it’s a bump on the head or a cracked bumper, something is not the same as it was before. The same thing happens when we collide with God or His truth or even other people. We’re changed. But unless we put ourselves in a position to collide, everything will stay the same. So are you ready to change? Are you ready to collide?

SESSION 1: “Impact” (November 13)
Not many people would place themselves in the path of a moving object. Well, not most sane people. But if you understand the principle of collision, then you put yourself out there. You think about what you need to do, who you need to intersect with to make change happen. With whom or with what do you need to collide? Because if you never collide, you’ll never change.

Session Parent Cue:
What is one thing you would like to change in your own life?

What would it take to make that change happen?

SESSION 2: “Blindsided” (November 20)
Have you ever met someone who was such a great example of Christ, but that person wasn’t a Christian? It sort of messes with your head, doesn’t it? After all, Christians don’t have a monopoly on caring for people. Not all things that are God’s truth exist exclusively with Christians or in the walls of the church. And if we realize that we can collide with truth in places other than the expected, God can use those collisions to show us new things about Himself and even change us.

Session Parent Cue:
What is something that you have learned about God from a person or source that wouldn’t necessarily be labeled “Christian”?

SESSION 3: “Totaled” (November 27)
Are you a safety boy/girl? Do you like the predictable? Do you like to know the outcome before you dive into something? Do you like to keep things the way they are—predictable? Isn’t that, well, a little boring? Maybe you need to collide with God. Maybe you need to place yourself in His path so that something in your life will change. It’s a collision that will leave you different than the status quo—and that’s a very good thing.

Session Parent Cue:
As a Christian, is there something you feel like you should do, but for some reason—fear, uncertainty, discomfort—you’re reluctant to do it?

How can you push yourself out of that comfort zone and make it happen?

Fall Retreat 2011: “Labyrinth”

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 01:46:13 -0400

Series Overview

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning
Not everyone has it together when it comes to knowing what God wants for their lives. But sometimes it certainly feels like everyone else does—and we don’t. And when your student feels that way, it can make them feel pretty left out and uncertain about their relationship with God and where their life is going. But what if hearing from God isn’t about exclusivity—who’s in and who’s out—but rather inclusivity, meaning that everyone gets to play in the game of God’s plan? When it comes to those not-so-easy life decisions, God has given us a very clear-cut grid based on His love for us, our love for Him and our love for others. So, knowing God’s will is less about signs and more about knowing the narrative of His great story and how we fit into it. God’s great love for you student is the most important factor in discovering His will for their life. So, when they wonder why they can’t seem to connect with God, we can encourage them that God does speak to them and wants them to be encouraged by His purpose for their lives.

2. Be a Student of Your Student
Do you remember when you left home? What it felt like the first time you paid your own bills, got your own gas and made your own dentist appointment? Do you remember what it felt like when the realization came that you were finally on your own? You were an adult, for better or for worse. For a lot of us, this feeling came when we packed our bags and headed off to college. Or, maybe it was when we graduated from college. Maybe for some of us, it was after we spent a few months at home following college graduation before we got our feet on the ground. But, for the most part, when we look back and try to recall the journey into adulthood, most of our journeys look the same. We packed our bags and we headed out.

Maybe you've noticed that things don't look that way anymore. And if you have noticed that, there is a reason. Adulthood for students today is taking a lot longer to reach than it once did. In fact, recent studies show that adulthood isn't reached until teenagers are in their mid to late twenties. Not eighteen, not college graduation, but years beyond. And there are many reasons why.

Historically, adolescents went through something called “stage development.” This meant that a student went through a progression of stages until they finally reached adulthood—until they were completely independent and self-sufficient. And, this was considered healthy, normal adolescent development. The problem is that these developmental stages don’t recognize what’s going on with kids today. Let’s take a look back. In the United States in 1900, the average age of puberty for young women and men was 14.5 years of age and at the age of 16, one was considered to be an “adult.” Now, let’s fast-forward a century to 2005. The average age of puberty drops to 11.7 but the mid to late twenties are now the new adulthood. The ever-expanding gap between early physical maturity and late emotional/developmental maturity can be very difficult for our students to navigate.

So, with this research, it is fair to say that there is an extension of adolescence. Our kids brains are taking longer to mature and develop, so their ability to take on the responsibility that adulthood requires isn't just something they are neglecting to do well, but something they can't necessarily do well for several more years. This means that the finish line we have for our kids—the one that says out of the house by eighteen and financially independent by graduation—may need to change. So what does this mean for parents of mid-to-late adolescents? How can we help our kids reach adulthood equipped with what they need to be successful?

We may need to see our job as parents as one that extends farther than it did for our parents when we were in our kid's shoes. We may need to open our doors back up after college while we work with them as they ease into the reality of the real world. We need to be their advocate. We need to be on their team. We need to be a partner to help them become the most confident and capable adults they can be—even it takes longer than we think it should. We need to be willing to move the finish line and allow our students the time they need to become the mature, well-rounded adults we know God is shaping them to be.

3. Action Point
It can be hard for many of us to think of resetting the finish line for our students and extending it past the commonly accepted milestone of high school graduation. Yet, today’s students are developmentally in a very different place than most of us were at the age of 18. For this Parent Cue, you are going to set aside some time to sit down with your student and help them set some spiritual, educational, personal and any other specific goals that they would like to see themselves reach at the age of 25. As you begin to set these goals, ask yourself the following question: How can I begin to help my student along the path of attaining these goals?

As well, as you and your student begin to dialog about these future goals, ask them what practical things would they like you to do to help them on their journey towards adulthood?

Remember, this exercise is not about your goals for your student, but rather their own goals for themselves. Be sure to listen to what their hopes and dreams are. If their goal is to have traveled the world by 25 instead of received their Master’s degree, be sure to encourage that dream while providing them with the wisdom you have gained from your own life experiences.

As well, as you help your student set his or her goals and as you begin to dialogue about how you can help, keep in mind that while this is an exercise in partnership, this is not meant to be an area that you take ownership over. Encourage healthy responsibility while recognizing your student’s need for extended support so that they have the best chance to become a spiritually healthy, emotionally well-rounded adult.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

New Series: “Grow Up”

Wed, 7 Sep 2011 18:05:09 -0400

Series Overview (6 weeks)
Do your students ever wish they could just grow up? Maybe they yearn for the day they will get their driver’s licenses. Or graduate from high school. Or go away to college. They don’t really want to be kids anymore. They want to be seen as adults. They want to feel like they’ve moved on, grown up. We all know how that happens physically, but what about spiritually? How do we know we’re growing in your faith? How do we know that you’re moving forward in that area of our lives? The good news is that God is just as passionate about growing our faith as we are. And there are five ways He will use to do that—some involving things that we probably already know, and other ways that we may have never thought about before.

SESSION 1: “Big Faith” (September 11)
Your faith in God matters to God. In fact, God is most honored through your living, active, death-defying, out-of-the-box faith. That being the case, He’s committed to growing it. Big. Imagine how differently you would respond to difficulties, temptations, and even good things if you knew with certainty that God was in all of it and was planning to leverage it for good. But in order for all of that to happen, there’s one thing it all hinges on—your trust.

Session Parent Cue:
What area of your life are you most reluctant to trust God?

Why?

SESSION 2: “Big Life” (September 18)
You can know a lot. Maybe you know the stats of every football player in the NFL. Maybe you know the cheat codes to hundreds of games. Maybe you know every Scripture in the New Testament. But unless you do something with what you know, then what you know isn’t enough. Especially when it comes to our faith. God’s truth was meant to be put into action. It was meant to affect our lives, our relationships. And when we begin to live out the truths we know, something happens to us our faith. It begins to grow.

Session Parent Cue:
What is one truth that you know from the Bible that you can commit to live out this week?

Follow up with each other to see how that’s going.

Fall Retreat (September 23-25)

SESSION 3: “Big Team” (October 2)
Who has had the most influence in your life? Your mom? Your dad? A coach? A camp counselor? There are all kinds of people that play a part in our lives, in our stories. And some of these people have played a part in how you see God. In fact, God has used some of those relationships to grow your faith. We call these relationships providential because they are about having the right people in your life at just the right time.

Session Parent Cue:
Who are the people in your life who have had a direct impact on your relationship with God?

In what way did these people influence, guide or encourage you?

SESSION 4: “Big Give” (October 9)
God grows your faith through spiritual disciplines. That’s probably not news for you. Praying and being generous are just things that Christian do. But there’s more than just doing an action because it’s the right thing to do. In fact, in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He tells us that not only is our heart tied to how we pray and our generosity, but also the growth of our faith.

Session Parent Cue:
How can you leverage your time this week so that you spend more time with God?

What is one way you can be generous this week?

SESSION 5: “Big Serve” (October 16)
Did you know that your spiritual growth is linked to your service? That’s right. You get something out of filling that volunteer position in the nursery or children’s ministry. You’re not just doing a job, filling a slot—you’re growing. God uses that service to teach you something about Him and others. And even if you don’t feel like you’re the best person for the job, or if you wonder, “Why am I doing this?” God says that if you want to grow, you have to serve.

Session Parent Cue:
Have you ever had a great experience while serving another person?

What was so great about it?

What are some characteristics you see in each other that would be assets in serving?

SESSION 6: “Big Moments” (October 23)
Have you ever met someone who went through something really difficult, yet if they had a chance to rewind and change what happened, they would be reluctant to do it? And the reason is because there was something they learned from that experience. It’s what we call a pivotal circumstance, a defining moment in their lives. Each of us has had one. Some may seem bigger than others. But to each one of us, they are huge. And you know what? Even thought it’s not something we would necessarily choose or want to happen, God takes those moments and uses them to grow our faith.

Session Parent Cue:
Share about a time in your life that was really hard, but something good came out of it.

Maybe you learned something new about God or yourself.

Maybe you built some great relationships with people who supported you.

How did what you learned or experienced somehow make the situation more bearable?

The Family Drift

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 16:37:47 -0400

IMAGINING THE END
Focus your energy and effort on the issues that will make a lasting impact.

By Tim Walker

My wife is the kind of person who always asks big questions—usually at times that blindside me and knock me unconscious. For example, the other day, she asked me, “What’s important for us as a family?”

Not, “What do you want for dinner?” or “Do we have money to buy the boys some shoes?” (It seems like we’re always buying shoes.)

Nope, it was “What’s important for us as a family?”

Now my first reaction was, “What? Are you kidding me?” I mean, I’m an analytical person. I think a lot—sometimes too much. But I have so much stuff I’m already thinking about that I don’t have time for a question like this. It just requires too much effort. In fact, it makes my head hurt a little bit.

But there was something about her question that wasn’t so easy to dismiss. I have a son in middle school, two more in elementary. I’m realizing every day just how quickly time is passing and I’m also realizing that there are some things I want to make sure my boys learn and know before I start losing my audience with them.

I know I have a few years before the oldest moves out, but the reality is that someday he will and it will come much faster than I think. Someday he’ll walk into adulthood. And it’s important for me to prioritize the knowledge and experiences he needs in order to move forward confidently.

That may or may not happen if we keep moving in the direction we currently are. Our schedule is crazy. Our time at home is disjointed with everyone doing his or her own thing. And the reality is that without intentionality, our family will always drift along. Our tendency will always be to drift towards disconnection and randomness. My kids are not always going to just instinctively learn things from me. Sometimes it requires me putting time and energy into helping them learn those things—whether it’s how to read the Bible, make a budget, how to do laundry or how to change a tire. Sometimes it means that I let them face some consequences that I want to save them from.

For example, we were a little reluctant on the whole cell phone thing for my middle schooler. He doesn’t really talk on the phone very much, and really he needs a phone only occasionally. So we bought him one of those pay as you go phones. He has to pay to add minutes or text time to his phone. And the phone company requires that he add to that balance every couple of months.

One weekend, he was on a retreat with our youth group. I needed to get in touch with him so I sent him a number of text messages. We talked back and forth, and while I was talking with him, I realized that I was using up his precious minutes.

My first instinct was to be generous and maybe swoop in and buy him some more minutes. But then I caught myself. I knew that if I did that, he would expect anytime I talked with him to be reimbursed. And that was not a precedent I wanted to set. So despite my “dad saves the day” intentions, I decided to just let it go and not say a thing. I would have loved to show him generosity; he’s a great kid. But I also knew that part of what makes him great and will continue to make him great is his sense of responsibility.

So what’s most important to your family? Think about it. Take a week and marinate on that. What do you want your child to walk into adulthood with? Beyond a diploma or a scholarship, what does he or she need to know to get to where he or she needs to grow? The reality is that unless it’s on your “to do” list, it won’t happen—and even then, you are going to have to work at making it happen. I know, it shouldn’t be that way, but it is. So how are the decisions, experiences and wisdom you are giving your child preparing him or her for the future?

Imagine the end. You’ll always be a parent. You’ll always be a part of your child’s life. But there will come a time when your “parenting” will end, when he or she will be making his or her own choices without your guidance or input. What does your child need when they get there? What are the important things you made sure they knew or experienced along the way to arrive at that point?

It may mean that you sacrifice some time on your part. It may mean that you make your child do something that he or she complains about the whole time. But when you are intentional about imagining the end, a few years from now, you’ll feel like you’ve done what you need to do to prepare your child for adulthood. It doesn’t mean you were perfect at it, but it does mean that instead of drifting, you steered your child in the right direction.

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